It was in the middle of October when you met.

Rain was pouring heavily in the city, and people were rushing about with their different-coloured umbrellas. She was on the sidewalk, waiting for the lights to go green, when you approached her. Rain was steadily pouring heavier and you asked if she could share her umbrella with you—at least until you cross the street and go your separate ways. She says yes right away and you thank your lucky stars that she didn't turn you away. The light goes green and the both of you cross the street. It was there where you noticed that the school uniform she was wearing was the same uniform you saw at the all-girls high school beside yours. She offers to share her umbrella with you until the both of you get to school. Apparently, she noticed the uniform you wore as well. You invite her to coffee, if only to thank her for the trouble she has to go through. She accepts and you wonder how no one else is blinded by her dazzling smile.

One coffee date turned to countless weekend hangouts. Your mom noticed how happier you seem when you talk about her, and your best friend constantly teases you about her. You ignore them, content that you found a new friend. Nature takes its course and that friendship turns into something more. So you court her, and it was a long affair. A lot of your friends tell you to give up, but you don't listen because you know she's worth it. It takes a year and half before she finally says yes. The feeling of elation, of finally being able to call her yours and her finally being able to call you hers was incomparable.

But you have fights. Other couples say its normal, so you take it all in stride. But one day, the fight was bad. It was so bad, you called your friends and had a boys-only day. One of them breaks the pact and brings a female friend. You and the unexpected female guest got to talking and found you had so many things in common. When it was time to part ways, you exchange numbers and promises of talking to each other again. There's a feeling at the pit of your stomach—that this wasn't right. But you ignore it and chalk it up to the residual anger from earlier on.

But things escalate from there and you start hating yourself because you know you're cheating on her. You don't deserve her, you don't deserve her, you don't deserve her keeps playing in your head, and you think of breaking up. But you're selfish and you don't want to let her go, don't want to let either of them go. So you continue on, pretending that everything's fine.

One day, she catches you with the other girl. You couldn't run after her because you deserve this, you deserve this, you deserve this. You think you should finally be happy because she's far away from you now. You won't be able to hurt her anymore. That if you can't be happy, then at least she will be. You even sever your ties with the other girl because the both of you know that you don't love her. Sometimes, you see her from your classroom window. Your schools were literally only separated by a wall and your chest goes tight when you catch her. After graduation, you never see each other again.

Three years later, you're in the same situation as to when you first met her. The only thing that was missing was her. You see someone waiting on the sidewalk and you gather enough courage to ask if she could share her umbrella with you, just until you cross the street. What you didn't expect that she would be there. Both of you are shocked, and you wonder if fate was rearing its ugly head and threw this at you. No matter how much you convince yourself, you've never really gotten over her.

You're caught off guard when she gives you a smile and says yes. You take back what you said about fate and thank your lucky stars once more. As soon as you get to the other side of the street, you thank her. You think about asking her out for coffee, just to catch up on old times, when she does that dazzling smile again.

Only, it wasn't directed to you anymore. You turn and see a man about your age, only taller and tan (compared to your pale complexion). She hastily says goodbye to you and you see her run up to the guy and give him a kiss. You wonder why anyone didn't hear your heart shatter to pieces when it was so loud. Your chest tightens, like when you broke up with her, except this was worse. So you walk away because you can't stomach seeing her so happy without you.

You deserve this. You deserve this. You deserve this.

I remember the first time I was introduced to TVXQ. 

It was back in 2006 and I was still a high school sophomore. I always watch this Japanese program and they happened to be guests there. I was struck by Kim Jaejoong's outrageously blond hair and let's face it: he's a visual shock. Then I started wondering who this person was. It was then that I noticed the four other guys with him. Lo and behold, Shim Changmin had long, light brown hair and one of the most captivating eyes I have ever seen. That, and he was ridiculously tall. Then he smiled and his eyes became mismatched, it was absolutely adorable. Of course, I didn't know their names then and because I was curious as to who these five good-looking people where, I started researching about them.

What shocked me was that they weren't even Japanese: they were Korean.

It's safe to say that I was thoroughly impressed that they could speak Japanese so naturally. It was through my obsessive research about them that I learned of their Korean and Japanese debuts, their shows, scandals, and (unfortunately) their accidents, among others. I spent many sleepless nights switching from studying for school and catching up on TVXQ.

TVXQ were literally my gateway to K-Pop.

Fast forward two years and the five gods from the East were suddenly having a Korean comeback with Mirotic. TVXQ have transformed into men. Their comeback single was literally stuck in my head for three weeks. I celebrated with them for every performance even if I am a flight away from the guys.

But of course, there will always be bumps on the road.

The lawsuit happened and like any other fan, I was hurt. I can't imagine how worse it would for the boys. But what really hurt me more were harsh words being thrown left and right. It made me angry when people spat in TVXQ's (Yunho and Changmin) faces for being "traitorous bastards". When they painted the two as "SM slaves" and many other even more degrading names. It was brutal and I lashed out.

But time passes and suddenly, we're here. 11 years down the road and we're still going strong. I don't think I could really put in words how special TVXQ is to me. They've opened a lot of doors for me without realising it, making me achieve my dreams one by one.

So all I can really say to TVXQ is thank you and I love you. Thank you for being my inspirations, my motivation, my guardians. Thank you for being with me at my most challenging times and my greatest achievements.

Thank you and I love you. 11 years down, forever to go.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

That tick-tock sound of the clock on your table is pissing you off, if only because it reminds me you how much time you have left before everything goes south. You had half a mind to take out the batteries, but you remember how much you needed it to tell you how much time was left.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You mentally applaud yourself for having enough self-control to not hurl that clock all the way across the room. That, and that you can still continue having an internal monologue and attempt to finish what needs to be done by noon. Your close friends don't really know this habit of yours and your best friends know that when you get like this, they have to leave you alone.

Beep.

Your phone goes off and you wonder who in their right mind would send you a message when you're in this state? You frown when you see that it's a message from someone you didn't really want to hear from. Literally the person you pretended didn't exist in your world. So you ignore it, pretending once more that he didn't exist, and went back to the task at hand. This paper won't write itself, no matter how much you will it to happen.

I got you under my skin.

You wonder if your iTunes picked today of all days to mock you. You put your iTunes on shuffle because music always did help you with your tasks. At the moment, however, it was being a total jerk and played songs that you know would most probably put you in even more of a rush. The six cups of caffeine plus all the deadline anxiety has you on edge. You were about the click Pause when you remembered you hate the sound of the ticking clock even more. So you sigh and just let iTunes win this round.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

You smile in satisfaction. The paper was finally finished and it was now printing. But what really made your day is that you still had an hour to spare, just enough time to grab a bite from the convenience store a few walks from your dorm. Paper done, bags ready, freshly showered and a smile on your face, you start walking to class.

You always did work best under pressure.

Running. Running. The earthy scent of the grass fills your nose, but you keep on running. You pass the ball, you run some more. Waiting. Waiting for the ball again. And you run again. You see it; the end. The frame. You run, even if your legs are screaming for you to stop. But you can't. Because this is life-or-death. And you take the shot. It curves. You pray to every deity that the ball goes in. And the screams deafen you. The ball went in. It's a goal. A goal.

Fun, yes? That's football for you. The euphoria of finally scoring a goal. Because even getting past the midfield and the defense is hard. But when you do get past it, you charge. The last line of defense, the goalkeeper, is your biggest enemy. When the GK is nervous, scoring a goal is easy. But when the GK is someone like Germany's Manuel Neuer (who won't even let you past the box, let alone the goal post), you have to be creative. You have to rely on your footwork. You have to read the GK.

But the thrill doesn't stop at the field. The thrill goes forth and infects everyone watching. From the bleachers, from the people watching from television sets, from people on the other side of the world, staying up at ungodly hours, streaming the game from their laptops and mobile devices. Emotions run high, and the game is under a blanket of passion. Screams and curses could be heard. You sincerely hope for a win by your team. 87 minutes in, you wish the score would remain at a draw. Because you'd rather take a draw than a loss.

For the people living on the other side of the world, sacrifice is almost always on their menu. And sacrifice always meant staying awake at two in the morning, streaming the game from their laptops or mobile devices. It was the only way they could keep up. They didn't want to go behind on the game. When a game like El Clasíco is on, one forgoes sleep. You want to see who has the better offense and defense. You want to see if Lionel Messi will get past the Real Madrid defenders with his knack for finding lapses, or if Cristiano Ronaldo will take the first goal with his fancy footwork and incredible speed. Or when the English Premier League is having one of the greatest games scheduled, and you're excited to see Oscar donning the blue uniform of Chelsea once more. And what of the Bundesliga? When Marco Reus, using his knowledge of Mario Götze's play, runs past him and takes the shot that propels Dortmund the lead. And you can see the unpredictability and genius of Jürgen Klopp through his coaching.

Transfer windows are both a fan's dream and nightmare. Sometimes, the players you love are the ones getting transferred or sold. Imagine the despair Chelsea fans went through when Frank Lampard was not renewing his contract with the Blues and went on to sign with Manchester City (myself included). Or the Madridistas' sadness when Özil was transferred from Real Madrid to Arsenal (again, myself included). Or the anger of some of the hardcore BVB fans when Mario Götze and Robert Lewandowski transferred from Dortmund to the rival team, Bayern München. But when something goes wrong, something good will replace it. The pain of losing one of your best players is still there. But you have new players to look forward to.

And in the midst of all this craziness, you find yourself feeling so at home with a team, considering them to be part of your family. Or you consider yourself part of their family. In any case, you're so emotionally-invested in the game.

The coin is tossed, the whistle blows, and the ball is kicked. The game starts and you lose yourself in the game all over again.

The darkness is seductive. It's always been calling you, beckoning you to come hither. There always was darkness inside you, caged and sleeping—waiting for the right moment to pounce. But you pay it no heed, because that's something you can always ignore. And you will never pay attention to it. You had no plans to.

You were held in the light by something. You had a lifeline and you'd do anything to keep it. You don't what you'd do if the line gets broken or worse, severed. You sincerely hope it doesn't, because you're not ready to let go—not just yet. You hold on, because that's what you know you can do best.

But Fate was a harsh goddess. She refused you your lifeline, breaking it in front of you and you can never fix it again. And then there was just so much anger. The darkness inside you was cackling in glee, then it breaks out of its cage. Suddenly, it grips your heart. It holds on to it and whispers in your ear about power. About what you can do with the darkness beside you. Because the darkness will always follow you. Hurt and defeated, you succumb to it, feeling a great surge of power come inside you as your last bit of humanity left.

For a time, you forgot who you once were. The darkness was a constant companion, and you found yourself destroying anything that reminded you of the light. Your guard is always up, never letting in anything or anyone take away that one thing that made you who you are: the shadows. But what they didn't know—what they will never know—is how much you still regret letting Fate take away your lifeline. You let yourself drown in memories, refusing to let even darkness get to it.

At some point in your life, there comes another piece of a puzzle that you have long forgotten. You forgot that even the darkness has ways to betray you. That even if you thought you had everything handled, you see that you never will. Because darkness has always been playing you, using you to keep everything in the black blanket. And one day, the darkness thought it best to let you fall. You fight it—because you always did fight everything that came in your way—until eventually, you get the light back.

But with it comes a price. You have lived far too long in the darkness. The light was suddenly too much for you to handle. But instead of going against it, you welcome it. You know it was time. And you smile because suddenly, your lifeline appears in front of you, basking in a silvery glow. You reach out and take it.

And then, you disappear.

This work of creative writing was inspired by Star Wars, particularly Anakin Skywalker. Star Wars is the work of George Lucas. No copyright infringement intended.

In this fast-paced world where you don't have time to breathe, you go into deals or jobs that looked fine on the first look, until you realise you're drowning in the sea and no one there to offer their hand for your to hold on to. And for a good period, you have no idea where you are. Just that you're in something that you took without seeing the bigger picture. And now, you feel stuck, suffocated, and on the verge of a panic attack because you have no idea what you're doing.

And when you finally make a decision, you're afraid. You're afraid because you have no idea where you'll be after you leave - just that you're finally leaving. Leaving is going to give you room to breathe. It's going to give you the freedom you so desperately crave. But that doesn't mean the trepidation isn't there. The apprehension of the unknown. The confusion of going out of the sea and diving into the ocean.

Yet you can't help but be excited at the same time. The unknown that you were so worried about also gives you the sense of thrill that you absolutely love. You still have no idea what you're doing, but this time, freedom is right beside you. And you're using whatever you have gained from the past to guide you. Because you know better this time. Because you have matured. Funnily enough, you have no idea if you're really supposed to be apprehensive and excited at the same time. And it adds to the mish-mash of emotions waiting to burst out. Confusion adds into the mix, and you wonder (again) why you're still in one piece. Why, with every emotion in your pores, a combustion has yet to happen.

But the ocean is getting bluer. And you're getting more and more interested about what lies beneath it. You're worried for your safety, but your curious mind won't let you rest; not until you get the answers you're looking for.

The first time I "met" with Spider-Man, I was three years old. I was watching TV on a Saturday morning when I saw an episode of a Spider-Man cartoon. I couldn't remember what the episode was about, but I do remember being so enthralled at the dude in the red and blue spandex shooting webs and swinging through New York City. This was the start of my love affair with Marvel.

When we visited the US last year, a trip to NYC was necessary. And while we were there, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was in the middle of filming. My head was spinning and turning, looking for any sign of the cast and crew. Sadly, I didn't get to see any of them, but I was half-expecting a red-and-blue blur to swing past me. Because come on, that was Spider-Man. The Spider-Man. I even wanted to see the Green Goblin because that was Harry Osborn! Harry. Osborn. Can't go wrong with the perfectly flawed friendship of Peter Parker and Harry Osborn.

Spider-Man is, quite frankly, the hero of geeky and awkward teenagers around the world. I was an awkward kid. I was loud, but I was an awkward kid. I have a bad case of word vomit and literally do not filter what I say sometimes. There were times when my classmates and teachers would glare at me for spouting out things I'm not supposed to say. I worked on it and it's not as bad as before (I mean it's still there but not as much or whatever). While I am inspired by a lot of things, Spider-Man will always be my word-vomit/sassy-comeback inspiration.

But let's not forget the iconic Spider-Man line: With great power comes great responsibility. My parents always taught me to be responsible for a lot of things. And when I'm made in-charge of something, I have to be responsible. I met a lot of people who always slacked off when they got to higher ground. And I deal with this kind of people all the time. Literally, all the time. Since I was in elementary, I've met loads of freeloaders and credit-grabbers. Surprise, surprise, these people still exist (when did they ever cease to exist anyway?) and they're getting better at it every single time. There was a time when I became a class officer and the class president offloaded her work to me and made me do everything. I took it, I did the job, and being a sneaky little "pest", told the adviser about it. The president was so mad at me, she confronted me about it in class. I just shrugged it off and told her, "Spider-Man would be so disappointed in you for not taking your responsibilities seriously." She was annoyed even more because I just compared her to a fictional character--that a fictional character was so much better than she was.

But the thing I love the most about Spider-Man is that even with all the things thrown at him--Gwen's death, Harry becoming the Green Goblin, his powers that he has no idea what to do with initially, the city pretty much painting him as a vigilante/criminal--he still manages to be fun. The sarcasm just drips off him and he just finds more ways to annoy people and have fun with it. Like Deadpool (which is also another character who is so awesome but we really must not delve into now because this blog could only take so much sarcasm and I'm already giving it too much). He doesn't run out of comebacks ever. Like even in the midst of chaos and insanity, he still screws you over by playing around like the kid he is. Because that's what he is: a kid.

18 years later, I've seen the five Spider-Man movies (the three Sam Raimis and two Marc Webbs), seen the cartoons, read Spider-Man comics in my spare time (which is scarce, by the way, because I read a lot of books, watch a lot of series and movies, hang out with my friends and family, and Tumblr), and read fanfiction here and there. Spider-Man is one of the things I stick to when I need to get away from reality. Like right now. I always said that I'm so emotionally-invested in a lot of things, but I'm only emotionally-invested in these things when I know I get something out of it.

Frankly speaking, I always wanted to try swinging from the New York City skyscrapers.

Dear you,

It's been a year, hasn't it? A year since you played with not one, not two, but three hearts. And until this day, I think about how incredibly stupid I have been for letting you turn me into one of your toys. It's been a year since I fell for your stupid charms that shouldn't have worked on me but it did. And I still curse myself for letting my guard down and let you in.

I remember the pain. Oh yes, I remember the pain of you suddenly giving me the cold shoulder as if I did something wrong. And for a while, I did think that I did something wrong. That maybe I was far too attached. That maybe I wasn't the open book that you "expected me to be". I went as far as thinking that maybe I should change because there was something wrong with me. I have the tendency to overthink things and this is what led me to that conclusion.

But the people around me were quick to shoot it down. Because this was exactly the kind of relationship I was going against. They were surprised at me that I actually went into this kind of hellhole because they know this is what I hated the most. And they said I must have seen something in you that made me believe otherwise and took the risk. But that's what life is, isn't it? It's about taking risks. And I did. Sadly, the risk I took didn't do me any good. I didn't cry, thankfully. I was just incredibly curious. That may be the reason why I'm so quick to shoot you down then: you weren't important enough for me to cry over.

I have to thank you for some things though. You taught me that just because people look nice doesn't necessarily mean they are. I mean look at you! You smiled a lot. You were friendly too. And kind. But underneath all that, you were a harsh player and I played this game with you. You won the first round, I'd have to give you that. You played your pieces right and I fell right into the trap. But I'm a girl who likes revenge, you see. And I'm pretty sure you knew that because you kept shoving your new relationship status to my throat. But the thing is, I have the best revenge plots. How's your new life treating you then? I heard you have zero friends now. Guess they heard about what you said about them behind your back. Don't worry, no one likes you too.

Oh! Thanks for the memories (cue FOB's "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"). Dude, I had so much fun in our outings. Plus I did appreciate your covers, just so I could be motivated again. You also were my anchor when I was ready to give up. But hey, I guess you didn't remember much of that. I mean judging by your passive-aggressive posts on Twitter and Facebook (that you're still doing today, but to other people), you just chose to forget everything else. Huh. Fascinating. For someone who tells other people to grow up, you sure as hell are doing a great job at it.

Also, don't think you can pull off a Lucien Carr a la Kill Your Darlings (2013). Dude, that's just ridiculous. You are nowhere near Lucien Carr (or any of the Beat Generation. Or any writer for that matter!) and I am offended that you think so.

Well. Until we see each other again, I guess. I hope I'm not as annoyed at you as I am now. Keyword being annoyed. You should've seen me in the first two months this thing happened. I was downright furious and so ready to burn you to the ground. But, I'm over it. I got my revenge, didn't I? Now I'm just annoyed. I still don't want to see you though.

Sincerely not yours,

me

P.S. Hope your girlfriend grows up too and stops sending me messages. It's childish and disgusting. Ew, okay? You're not Leonardo Dicaprio for me to sob hysterically over. And for Spiderman's sake, it's been a year. Get over it.

Blame games are inevitable. So does taking credit for something they didn't do. And when it happens in your work environment, it's a lot worse. The work relationship between you and whoever that person may be becomes toxic, you just dread every single day you go to work. When something goes wrong with your project or proposal or whatever, the blame goes to you. When something good happens, it's all him/her. Applaud the superficiality.

Another incredibly bad thing is when someone else's responsibilities fall on you. I was raised to own up on your responsibilities. When they're not yours, assist. But whatever happens, you are not to take responsibility for anything that wasn't yours to begin with. In work, there will always be people who will push their responsibilities to other people so they won't have to work a sweat and carry on with other activities. I made the mistake of letting someone push their responsibilities to me. I was new in work and I had little to no idea how everything works. But I learned. Safe to say, the relationship I have with the person is non-existent now.

But what pisses me off more is when people deliberately do things to possess things that are not even theirs. They would literally sacrifice their dignities for materialistic sake. I pity these people and they disgust me all the same. I pity them because they literally would lay down their dignity for something as materialistic as a phone or a tablet. It's mad what they do to be with the "in" crowd. And it's disgusting at the same time because you would rather own a smartphone or tablet that would fade in a couple of years (a couple of months, give or take) than dignity. It might look good now, but the road is bleak in the long run.

Everyone has faults. I know I'm not perfect and I have faults all the same. I tend to lose focus easily, I have a really sharp tongue and I tend to get aggressive when situation calls it. But I think I'd rather have these faults than have to sell my soul to the devil and let go of whatever dignity I have left.

Three weeks ago, we went to Palawan for a vacation with my sister's friends and their parents and siblings. The sun, the sea, the breeze, the people, and basically everything that made vacation a "vacation." When I'm not swimming (or doing something equally fun), I would sit down with the adults and listen to them talk about whatever. One of the topics that they always delved into was commuting. During these conversations, I learned that my sister's friend's siblings (who are older than me) did not know how to commute. My dad, safe to say, was surprised. It turns out, the parents of those people never did teach them how to commute and would literally make them carpool everywhere they went (taxis do not count).

Honestly, I think learning how to commute (and no, not taxis) is something like a rite of passage. When I was in high school, we had a whole course teaching us how to commute. And you wouldn't look so clueless when you need to go some place without a taxi. I think I'm actually one of the very few who likes commuting in the city. Most of the time, I use it as an excuse to explore the city. There's so much to see in Manila that we haven't really seen yet. Granted, the city also has its danger spots. But without commuting, one wouldn't learn of this.

And really, let's go on an adventure and let's start with Manila.

Learn a local language.

Learn a local language and find yourself getting big discounts from merchants at the market. There will always be two sets of rates and prices for food and pasalubong: one for the locals, and one for the tourists. They can tell you're a tourist when you only speak either Tagalog or English. Most of the time, just speaking the local language can give you at least a 10% discount (emphasis on AT LEAST).

Learn a local language and find yourself having even more fun during festivals. The country is absolutely festive, having at least one or two (or more!) fiestas in one month. If you find yourself on a mission to travel around the Philippines to attend every festival, you'll have an easier time finding your way through the throngs of people in the streets.

Learn a local language and get the warmest of greetings from food places and lodging. They know you're a tourist, but they (or at least from what I have observed) find it amusing that you took the time to learn at least the basics of Ilokano or Bisaya. Granted, they may be amused because you can't get the accent or pronunciation right, it's still A+ for effort on your part. And you don't sound snobbish too!

Learn a local language and immerse yourself in their culture. Find yourself in a culture so unlike your own, yet so like you at the same time. Find yourself fishing with the Ilokanos and Pangalatoks, or eating lechon with the Cebuanos. Go horseback-riding in Baguio, or looking at the eagles in Davao or the tarsiers in Bohol. Swim with the butandings (whale sharks) in Sorsogon, or with the pawikans and the dolphins in Ozamiz. How about looking at the difference between the crocodiles in Palawan and in Davao? Whatever the case, the local language is one of the best ways to immerse yourself in a local culture that you know it exists, but you have no idea how it feels like to be part of that.

Learn a local language and see the difference it makes.

Learn a local language and give the local cultures the love they deserve.